[In] and [Out Of] Your Control


Wouldn’t it be great if we could control every little thing in our lives?

  • The “fires” clients always need put out yesterday.

  • The jack@$$ who cut over three lanes to make his exit, nearly plowing into you in the process, giving you shooting pains of fear through your chest to start your day.

  • The unpredictable work schedule of your S.O./husband, giving you two weeks to buy those plane tickets home for the holidays.

Oh yeah, those are the things we can’t control. Yet, we find ourselves spending way too much energy and hours of our time worrying and thinking we can.

This week’s post is here to help stop the madness! I present to you an easy, yet super simple exercise to bring you peace, breather a little easier, and most importantly, help give you back your power.

It’s called the ‘OOC List’ (inspired by the Daily Shine).

This bad boy completely transformed my mindset and energy this past Monday. To be honest, I woke up simply not feelin’ it and drained for the day ahead that hadn’t even started yet. I just wanted drink my coffee, read for hours, go to the beach and play hooky! Well, instead, I put my big girl pants on and tried out a new tool in my Re•Frame toolkit.

Here’s the gist of the ‘OOC List’:

  • List out things that are OUT OF YOUR CONTROL (traffic, your boss/coworker’s attitude, your friend forgetting about your dinner plans, etc.)

  • List out things that are IN YOUR CONTROL (your mindset, the food you put into your mouth, the people you surround yourself with, etc.)

Seems too simple, right?

I saw first hand that looking at what you can and can’t control face-to-face on a piece of paper (outside of our head) can actually make us feel like we have more control. It’s easy to keep our thoughts to ourselves, swirling around in our head where they take on a life of their own.

Seeing the list of things I actually and literally cannot control helped me detach from the death grip I had on them. I was able to detach from the ridiculous expectation that I somehow could control other people’s actions or emotions or way of being.

The next time you feel utterly overwhelmed or stuck or simply feel like shutting down because of the stress of other people or your own expectations, I challenge you to make an ‘OOC List’. What happened? How do you feel? I’m hopeful you were able to feel peace and breathe a little easier, just like I did.

This ‘OOC List’ isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It’s the perfect two-minute exercise to bring us back to reality, try on a new perspective, and be the powerful women we are.

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

Elise TelfordComment