The Power of the Reframe
If you’re reading this, today is a very special day.
It’s special because it is officially RE•FRAME’s birth into the world! Maybe it’s fitting this day is just four days before my actual birthday? I’d like to think the timing was designed this way on purpose.
Did you know, the word reframe is defined as "to look at, present, or think of (beliefs, ideas, relationships, etc) in a new or different way”?
I believe the act of reframing is a necessary way of life. Dare I say…a basic necessity. When challenges arise, or circumstances grow out of our control, or we receive really, really bad news, we have two options.
Option 1: React. Shut down. Get stuck.
Option 2: Pause. Reframe. Find clarity.
Don’t get me wrong, reframing can absolutely take time depending on the circumstance(s) and I deeply honor that. But the sheer power that lies in the ability to reframe can be truly life-altering. It can shift our mindset, our perspective, our actions, and way of being. It allows us to show up in the world the way we were designed to be.
I’ll give you an example of choosing Option 2 (over Option 1) within the past month. My partner has a very demanding schedule that has him working 60-70 hour work weeks, with long periods of travel and minimal free time. Elise from October 2017 would see this as a really big problem with a scarcity mindset, probably have a little meltdown, and struggle to find a positive…ugh, how could there be one?
Enter the PAUSE (this is meditating, journaling, creating a gratitude list for me). The PAUSE may need to happen several times before the reframe can really stick, by the way. Pausing gives ME the power and perspective to see this so-called “problem” differently. Pausing puts me and my emotions back in control, not the circumstance. So that 70-hour work week with long periods of travel and limited “couple time” actually gives me the opportunity to focus on me — self-care, spending time with nourishing friendship, solo hikes, taking online courses, launching RE•FRAME, etc. It makes me that much more grateful and present for the time I DO get to spend with my partner when he is home. When I show up with a positive mindset, my partner feels and sees it. It inspires him! That is the power of the reframe.
Now it’s your turn!
WEEKLY RE•FRAME CHALLENGE:
Grab a piece of paper and make two columns labeled “Option 1” and “Option 2”. Reflect on the past 7 days and write down a circumstance or interaction that may have caused you to react, shut down, and get stuck in the “Option 1” column.
Ask yourself, what caused the response of Option 1? Who was involved? What did you feel? What may have you been attached to that didn’t go your way?
Now, here comes the real challenge. Write down in the “Option 2” column the ideal/preferred outcome from this said circumstance or interaction. What is required of you next time to get there? Often times, it requires us to remove ourselves (and ego) from the situation to see a different outcome that is more in line with who we want to be.
Working toward “Option 2” will likely take a bit more work from us because it isn’t the “easy” way.